Welcome Aboard The Rookie Captain Shop
From rescuing a free 33′ Chris Craft to fueling salty dreams—this store is your one-stop dock for funny nautical tees,
boating gear, and rookie guides. Built for new captains and salty dogs alike.
🔥 Captain's Picks
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- Accessories, T‑Shirts, Women’s
Rookie Captain T‑Shirt – “My Boat, My Rules, Your Sobriety Optional” Women’s Relaxed Tee
- Price range: $29.50 through $33.00
- Sail your way and set your own rules with this relaxed-fit women’s tee. Sobriety not required. Authority guaranteed.
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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- Men’s, T‑Shirts, Women’s
Rookie Captain Unisex Sports Jersey – “Captain of the S.S. Drunk”
- Price range: $27.00 through $29.50
- Lead your crew into nautical nonsense with this comfy women’s tee. The S.S. Drunk won’t steer itself—but you’re definitely steering it sideways.
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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- T‑Shirts, Women’s
Rookie Captain Women’s Relaxed T‑Shirt – “Captain of the S.S. Drunk”
- Price range: $29.50 through $32.50
- Lead your crew into nautical nonsense with this comfy women’s tee. The S.S. Drunk won’t steer itself—but you’re definitely steering it sideways.
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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- T‑Shirts, Women’s
The Rookie Captain – “Anchors Aweigh… and Shots Away” T‑Shirt
- Price range: $29.50 through $33.00
- Raise your anchor and your shot glass. This tee is made for boaters who live fast, sail loose, and never say no to one more drink.
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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- ⚓Adult & Naughty Nautical, Men’s, T‑Shirts, Women’s
Ass, Gas, or Deck Space – Funny Unisex Boating Jersey
- Price range: $27.00 through $29.50
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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- Captain’s Collection, Men’s, T‑Shirts, Women’s
Captain Hungover – Funny Unisex Boating Jersey
- Price range: $27.00 through $29.50
- You're not just hungover—you're the captain of it. Wear your shame with style.
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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- ⚓Party Boat Vibes, Captain’s Collection, Men’s, T‑Shirts, Women’s
Captain of Bad Decisions – Unisex Sports Jersey
- Price range: $27.00 through $29.50
- Lead your crew into hilarious chaos with the ultimate boating party jersey for the proud Captain of Bad Decisions.
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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- Men’s, T‑Shirts, Women’s
Captain of the Booze Cruise – Unisex Sports Jersey
- Price range: $27.00 through $29.50
- You bring the boat. We bring the booze. This jersey makes it official—you’re the Captain of the Booze Cruise.
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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- Captain’s Collection, Kids, Men’s, Women’s
Captain of the Shipwrecked & Shameless – Unisex Sports Jersey
- Price range: $27.00 through $29.50
- This jersey screams “I may not know where I’m going, but I’m the captain anyway."
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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- ⚓ Funny Boating Shirts, Men’s, T‑Shirts, Women’s
Docked and Dangerous – Funny Unisex Boating Jersey
- Price range: $27.00 through $29.50
- Turn heads at the dock. This jersey says, “I’m not moving… but I’m dangerous.”
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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- ⚓ Funny Boating Shirts, Men’s, T‑Shirts, Women’s
Drunk on a Boat is Still Technically Navigation – Unisex Sports Jersey
- Price range: $27.00 through $29.50
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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- ⚓ Funny Boating Shirts, ⚓Adult & Naughty Nautical, Men’s, T‑Shirts, Women’s
I Like Buoys – Funny Nautical Unisex T-Shirt
- Price range: $27.00 through $29.50
- A hilarious boating shirt for pun lovers who know it's always about the buoys.
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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- ⚓Adult & Naughty Nautical, Men’s, T‑Shirts, Women’s
I Like My Boats Like I Like My Nights — Wet & Wild – Unisex Sports Jersey
- Price range: $27.00 through $29.50
- Make waves and memories in this bold boating jersey built for wet rides and wild nights.
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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- ⚓ Funny Boating Shirts, ⚓Adult & Naughty Nautical, Men’s, T‑Shirts, Women’s
If Lost, Return Me to My Boat – Funny Unisex Boating Jersey
- Price range: $27.00 through $29.50
- Boat life rule #1: If found ashore and confused, return to vessel immediately.
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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- ⚓Adult & Naughty Nautical, T‑Shirts, Women’s
Kiss Me Where It’s Wet – Funny Nautical Unisex Sports Jersey
- Price range: $27.00 through $29.50
- When life gets wet, get kissed. This bold boating jersey is soaked in salty charm.
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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- ⚓Party Boat Vibes, Men’s, T‑Shirts, Women’s
Let’s Get Shipfaced – Funny Unisex Boating Jersey
- Price range: $27.00 through $29.50
- Your official uniform for floating fiestas and alcohol-fueled adventures.
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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- ⚓Party Boat Vibes, Men’s, T‑Shirts, Women’s
Nauti, Lit, and Afloat – Unisex Sports Jersey
- Price range: $27.00 through $29.50
- Nauti? Lit? Afloat? This jersey checks all three boxes—and then dances on the dock.
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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- Accessories, T‑Shirts, Women’s
Rookie Captain T‑Shirt – “My Boat, My Rules, Your Sobriety Optional” Women’s Relaxed Tee
- Price range: $29.50 through $33.00
- Sail your way and set your own rules with this relaxed-fit women’s tee. Sobriety not required. Authority guaranteed.
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
-
- Men’s, T‑Shirts, Women’s
Rookie Captain Unisex Sports Jersey – “Captain of the S.S. Drunk”
- Price range: $27.00 through $29.50
- Lead your crew into nautical nonsense with this comfy women’s tee. The S.S. Drunk won’t steer itself—but you’re definitely steering it sideways.
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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- T‑Shirts, Women’s
Rookie Captain Women’s Relaxed T‑Shirt – “Captain of the S.S. Drunk”
- Price range: $29.50 through $32.50
- Lead your crew into nautical nonsense with this comfy women’s tee. The S.S. Drunk won’t steer itself—but you’re definitely steering it sideways.
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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- ⚓ Funny Boating Shirts, Men’s, T‑Shirts, Women’s
Sunk Happens – Unisex Sports Jersey
- Price range: $27.00 through $29.50
- For those moments when everything goes sideways—this is your go-to boating jersey. Sunk happens. Look great anyway.
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
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- T‑Shirts, Women’s
The Rookie Captain – “Anchors Aweigh… and Shots Away” T‑Shirt
- Price range: $29.50 through $33.00
- Raise your anchor and your shot glass. This tee is made for boaters who live fast, sail loose, and never say no to one more drink.
- Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page
- ✅ Secure checkout via Printful, Stripe & PayPal
- 🚚 Ships across U.S. & Canada in 2‑5 business days
- ⭐ Customer reviews available on product pages