Stay Safe on Water: Top 10 Essential Boating Tips

Ever heard that old saying, “The two happiest days in a boat owner’s life are the day they buy the boat and the day they sell it”? Those are obviously the words of someone who failed to grasp the concept of boating safety – and probably got a seagull stuck in their propeller. Don’t be that guy. Here are some tips to help you feel like a bonafide sea sultan instead of a landlubber in a life jacket.

A Few Basics

Belts are for pants. Life jackets are for boating. Even if you’re a world-class swimmer, you’re not Michael Phelps. And even Michael Phelps wears a life jacket when he’s out on a boat. Believe it or not, water can be wet – and merciless. So put on that puffy jacket of life and be the marshmallow you were always meant to be.

Have a plan and stick to it. Sure, getting lost at sea might sound romantic if you’re a bored millionaire with a hankering for Hemingway, but you’ll kick yourself for throwing your smartphone overboard in a fit of rebellion when it’s dinner time and you’re 100 nautical miles from the nearest seafood buffet.

Stay Informed

Boating safety is not about knowing your starboard from your port (although that’s handy too). It’s about being well-informed and prepared. Stay up to date on boating laws and regulations – they’re not just there to confuse and torment you. They also help keep you safe.

Keep an eye on the weather. If your hair starts standing on end and you’ve not just had a Botox injection, you’re about to be struck by lightning. Time to hightail it out of there! Remember, on the open water, you’re basically a lightning rod wearing a funny hat.

Safety Gear

Ensure your boat is stuffed with more safety gear than a paranoid person at a bubble wrap factory. A first aid kit, firefighting equipment, lifebuoys, flares; if you can use it to potentially rescue someone or make a massive smoky sign in the sky, you want it on your boat.

Double-check that everything is in working order before you set sail – no one wants to be stuck in the middle of nowhere, trying to start a rescue flare that’s deader than a forgotten disco dancer.

The Dreaded Alcohol

Alcohol and boating go together like whiskey and driving – they don’t. Yeah, we all laugh when Captain Jack Sparrow appears half-drunk on his sinking ship, but unless you have an infallible compass and a crew of undead pirates to help you out, it’s probably not a good idea.

FAQ

Q: How many life jackets should I have on board?

A: The short version is – one for every person on board.

Q: Can I drive a boat if I don’t have a license?

A: Depends on where you are, matey. Some jurisdictions require a boating license, while others don’t. Check local rules.

Q: I own a swimsuit and a pair of flip flops. Do I qualify as an experienced boater?

A: Not quite, sailor. Weather, currents, navigation – there’s more to it than sunbathing.

Q: Can I outrun a thunderstorm in my boat?

A: If you can outrun Usain Bolt in your boat, then sure. If not, it’s safer to avoid it in the first place.

Q: The weather forecast predicts rain at sea. Should I take my umbrella?

A: By all means, do. Just remember to strap it down firmly because Mary Poppins only flew in the movies.

Conclusion

Boating safety may seem like a drag, but the alternative can be a real wet blanket – or worse. Invest time in learning about proper safety procedures, keep a vigilant eye on the weather, and always remember that life jackets are not optional fashion accessories.

With the right preparation, you can ensure that the happiest day of your boating life is not the day you sell your boat, but every time you set out for a fun and safe journey at sea. Even if you do look like a marshmallow doing it, at least you’re a safe, happy marshmallow. After all, isn’t that what boating is all about?